joeartguy's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Luna's Conspiracy]

You really put just enough thought and effort into this to make me realize you could have done a actual decent game. It's in that terrible midground of having too much quality to be hilariously suck, but not anywhere near enough to approach excellence.

The programming is good but completely basic and in no way challenging, the graphics have good interaction but are gifs you yanked off the first internet site you came to, and the jokes you had are funny (particularly Flutterlek) but completely undermined by the lolspeak that's you trying to be funny. It all cancels out, leaving you with the flash equivalent of bad pizza: I like the idea, and I want it to be good, but it's just not.

Bonus half star for actually doing the whole game.

Hamcha responds:

As for all the other people, maybe it's a Timezone issue, maybe not, but this was intended to be an April fool's joke, the horrible graphics, the bugs and the abused grammar errors were all intended to be that bad.
I started with the intent to make the most trash game I could do and I used so little effort that it was finished in less than 4 hours.

[Rainbow dash soundboard]

Not terrible sound quality, so that's good. But you need to fix the button areas so they're not just the edges, and add a LOT more clips. The show is in its third season, you have hours and hours of episodes, and you came up with nine short lines? I can't make crank calls with this!

Needs to be at least 220% cooler.

[Where's Derpy?]

Nice Derpy Day upload. The art was smooth, the game was well planned, and the sound files were great. Good end credit animation too!

[Cave systems]

Not a bad start in programming

It has the look and feel of one of those old character-based games from the mid-1980s, the kind you used to find on TRS-80s. That's not a bad thing! The gameplay is all right so far.

But you need to either use icons instead of characters, or set a fixed-width font: since & is wider than . the movement of enemies causes the entire line to the right of them to jiggle and change. It makes it hard to figure out what will be where. Also helpful would be a way to end a level, and a method to keep the score from dropping below zero.

Pretty good for starters, but needs more to be finished.

[Fuzzy Memory: Halloween]

Not enough chances

The number of "chances" you give is too low. Even playing absolutely perfectly, you end up with only two tries left on the first screen. If anything less than perfect play is failure, that's not really a challenge, that's just bastardly.

The gameplay is adequate. Thanks for providing a way to shut off the music. But I can't say this was really fun.

chesster415 responds:

It depends on the cards you flip over, and how well you memorize them. Sometimes you get lucky and get a pair or two to start off. Then it would seem too easy if you had more tries. I tried my best to balance the number of tries against the odds of picking up a few matches by chance. I'll consider adjusting it, maybe based on play history.

[Lt. Data Soundboard]

Passable sounds

Decent editing in terms of length and cutpoints, although the quality of the samples could have been higher -- it sounds like many of these were recorded with a mic in front of a speaker, rather than from the original DVDs.

Also, this should really be called a Brent Spiner soundboard, since many of the quotes are from the actor doing other characters and shows.

[Zombie Survival Quiz 2]

Questions about one particular type of zombie?

Your coding is well-constructed, and your music is good. Some advice on how to improve one's score against your particular zombies would be better.

This is diverting but not useful; what type of zombie is "in" changes from decade to decade, and how best to survive them changes with it. I realize you're going for the current fashion, but that will change within a few years -- just like powerful but fast-decaying alien-made zombies, once all the rage, are now out.

I'm surprised at how low you rate certain weapons, particularly those with long reach and good stopping power. And hand-to-hand martial arts against something constantly leaking infectious fluids? You must be kidding when you rate that as useful!

secv responds:

I chose one type of zombie because it would be confusing to changed types every other question. Also, I would say the "in" zombie type is the Left 4 Dead infected at the moment, not slow Brooks/Romero zombies.

Actually, based on the zombie lore in this quiz, the blood of a zombie is coagulated and thus does not leak everywhere.

The advantage of martial arts is that you may actually know disabling moves, throws, proper kicking technique (to distance yourself and for power), and are in better shape than many people who do not study a martial art. That being said, zombies should always be avoided, but someone with this technical knowledge is better off than someone without.

[Turn BasedBattle Tutorial]

Confusing

Your content is good, but it's poorly organized. You even seemed to get bored at the end and dumped five or six bite-sized steps into one almost unreadable frame. The "next" button was good, but where was the "back" or "rewind" buttons so we could review or find something we missed?

Tutorials are for people who don't know how to do what you're explaining. Take your time and go into detail in small steps... and use a font like Ariel or Helvetica that's easy to read. Seriously, that Old English font? Save it for your heavy metal flashes.